Derek's Funeral

So today is Derek's funeral. 

Last night Jack asked for me and him to go to the gym and leave the house around 6.45am - I was up bright and early and sat downstairs watching the last episodes of Dexter Season 2 when he phoned me at 7.00am - "where are you?" he asked - "downstairs waiting for you since 6.30am!" - he didn't believe he at first - he'd overslept.

Still, we went anyway and got a decent hour done - quite enjoyed it, I really need to get up there more. He had a sauna and dragged out his time there whilst I waited for him....again!

I had the day off from work today, I still checked emails but we're on top of things at the minute so it's all good and running the Inbox these days is manageable.

Back home we got things sorted and then Jack drove me to Headington so I could drop off the flowers at the Funeral directors and then we went to Summertown because the photos that we'd ordered for the wake hadn't arrived so Tash ordered some instant ones from Boots. I was impressed with that - she'd uploaded and ordered them and 20-30mins later I went to the machine, scanned the QR code and the photos all printed, very good service. £11.00 for 20 - so not too desperate.

Back home Lewis arrived and then we all got ourselves sorted and went and got Mum. Lewis and her family (minus Trevor) were all there and we chatted before jumping in the cars and heading for the Crematorium. It was interesting, and nice, seeing who arrived and thankfully there was a decent number of people - the 30-odd that Mum hoped would be the numbers - perhaps just a bit more than that actually. 

There were people from her work and neighbours and friends and then some of ours were there - Wayne, Zoe, Little and Big Liams and Sharon. 

We waiting in the warm room until Chanelle (funeral director) called us in and us 6 pall bearers waited outside until the right time to carry him in. Whilst we were waiting three people arrived who I didn't recognise and after being in the chapel for about 2 mins came out again - they'd arrived at the wrong crematorium!! "OMG, it's like Only Fools and Horses" I heard the lady say - of course I found the funny side to it and offered for them to stay anyway!

It was now time to carry Derek's coffin in which was for me, Jack, Lewis, Simon, Peter and Luke and we did okay - but it was heavy. As I turned to return to my seat I was greeted with Tash and Charlotte crying so I had to look the other way knowing that I had my speech lined up and didn't want to get emotional reading it.

Kirsten did her bit and her introduction was good, Lewis did a reading well, and then I had to do eulogy. I did okay and just told the stories from my notes and looked up etc and enjoyed doing it to be fair. A hymn, music, Lewis doing another reading and soon it was all over with Kirsten wrapping things up. 

As we filed out to the music from the Hovis Advert we placed a single white rose on the coffin and milled around outside chatting and thanking people. After 20 mins people started to depart and go back to work or the pub (Vic and Danny's Abingdon Arms) - we thanked Kirsten and Chanelle and they were complimentary to us and gave mum a photo and that was it - all very well done.

We made our way to the pub and had a back room all to ourselves and we had drinks and food and caught up - it was a really nice afternoon and people stayed a long time so that was fantastic. Really enjoyable afternoon and a great send off for Derek. 

Louise and her kids decided they wanted to go home and not back to Mum's - bit odd that they don't put themselves out more for Mum, but there you go. We stayed on a bit later and then went back to Norton Close and had some food and more chatting. Mum was tired and had a headache by now so we made a move to leave her to it and she was fine with that.

Back home we all went to bed and that was the day over.

I was quite pleased with Jack as on the way home he said he liked my writing and speaking style and and I should be writing blogs - "it's very distinct". That was a nice compliment.

A long day but it was "enjoyable" and went really well. Bless Derek, he was a part of our lives and in some ways wasn't - he was very withdrawn from things but was a constant for Mum. 

She did really well today - just need to keep her active going forwards now because she's not going to be visiting the home now and with the funeral done all the planning that was involved is also free time that she now has. 

   

Queen State Funeral

 After 10 days of mourning the Queen's State funeral took place today and as expected it was quite the affair!

We've had 10 days of what was commonly called MournHub which obviously is a play on words but it was highlighting how companies were trying to outdo each other in their bids to "show their respect" and at times it was downright painful. Football was cancelled, and Centre Parcs was planning on kicking customers out of the site for the Monday funeral - honestly, it was ridiculous.

Anyway, the day has arrived and I was interested of course because it's a matter of history and it was done with the pomp and ceremony we're actually quite good at!

Watched from about 10.00am and it was spell-binding as the various military groups got set up and moved to Westminster Abbey, the bagpipes were especially excellent.

The process and precision of everything was impressive and it was an entertaining watch - if that's an appropriate description for a funeral?

After the ceremony in the Abbey, they walked back to Hyde Park (Welling Square) and followed the route down the Mall, past Buckingham Palace - the day was bright sunshine so the colour/spectacle was even more stark and impressive.

They then drove her to Windsor for the final service and again it was impressive, so many people lining the route as you would rightly expect. 

The camera work and the words supporting the images (I was on BBC) was excellent, enjoyed it but it was quite draining and even emotional.

She'd done well, UK's longest-ruling monarch of 70 years and aged 96 - we now have King Charles, he's been desperate to step into her shoes and now he's there, not sure how much he'll add to it all to be honest but there we go.

Great Grandma’s Cremation

Sad day today, another one!

Once more, the title is self-explanatory. Two weeks after her death we said goodbye to Great Grandma today. I worked in the morning as I had some urgent things to attend to and then from 11.00am we got ourselves sorted. We went over the the Crematorium about 12.20pm and there was a number of people there already, eventually most of the family were there which was pleasing, Louise and all her family, haven’t seen Trevor in about 5-6 years, Ricky and Lisa were there and so were the two girls which we weren’t expecting, Matthew and his wife too. Alan from the close was also in attendance and pleasingly Mum had been allowed to get Derek from the Nursing Home so he could come as well. He will have to self-isolate now for 14 days but he’s not doing much at the home so that’s not going to be any sort of inconvenience for him!!

We waited outside chatting and it was subdued as you’d expect but some normal chatter as well. The hearse arrived so we made our way down to the entrance and waited for a while and then were allowed in, sat at the front with Mum so I could support her if required and Derek was next to her in his wheelchair. Grandma was brought in and the service was present by a chaplain who was nice enough and instead of singing hymns there was music played and this worked. Nice to hear about Grandma’s life and admittedly it wasn’t as heart-breaking as you’d expect. Lewis stepped up to the plate and read her favourite poem, ‘”Wandered lonely as a cloud” and did brilliantly, I was extremely proud of him, and even afterwards Jack admitted to him that he’d not have been able to say anything so was impressed with his brother.

The service passed and then all done and we’re being ushered out, we waited around in the rose garden looking at the flowers and messages and chatting and comforting a few who were upset. After a bit we needed to make a move so Mum called for the taxi and we went and waited out in the car-park continuing conversations etc with people we hardly see anymore and will likely see even less of! Taxi came and that was the signal for things to finish. Mum went with him and Louise’s family went to her house – bit annoyed about that because it’s obvious they were going to but Mum played it down and was suggesting it wasn’t going to happen and that’s why they couldn’t come to ours – anyway, whatever.

So we came back here and sat around the dining room table for food and drinks and didn’t go back to work. Nice afternoon, chatting about everything and remembering funny stories about Great Grandma.

Mum came round later for an hour and the by about 5.30pm it was all done. We got changed into more comfortable clothes and put a film on. Had a bit more wine and beers but nothing to overdo things and generate hangovers!

Off to bed for an early night in what has been a long, tiring and emotional day.

Said it before, but Grandma was a remarkable woman and she’d enjoyed a great life and was well-loved which goes without saying. she’ll be sorely missed but we’ve been so lucky to have been able to enjoy so much time with her.

xxx

Rob Dennis Funeral

Sad day today because it was Rob Dennis’s funeral. He’d been battling cancer for 4 years and last week he lost his battle

Today there was a funeral procession out of the village, through Wytham, town and then up to the Crematorium.

The family had asked for villagers to line the streets and at 12.30pm that’s what happened. Pissing down with rain but it didn’t put people off and there was a good turnout.

We walked behind the procession for a little of the way and then it was off and we went back to things.

Went down later and there was a display of the flowers and messages and even a box of Flakes because that was his favourite. Spoke quickly to Anne and Laura and they were very well kept together.

He was a lovely man and well liked and respected – it’s no surprise so many people lined the roads for him

As I mentioned on Facebook when his death was announced, I’ll always remember the drunken night we had at the Bamptons dancing to Beyoncé and Single Ladies – that was a very funny evening!

Gone but not forgotten as they say.

Bless him.

Jon Ward’s Mum’s Funeral

Didn’t get too much done in the morning, quite distracted really and then got ready for Jon Ward’s mums Funeral. It was held at the crematorium near Wantage and it was a good turn out. Lots of familiar faces and Jon was pleased that we turned up.

We then went to Cosenor House in Abingdon and had a few drinks and food there. I wasn’t drinking but it was good to catch up with people.

Back home I did some more work and then signed off around 5.00pm having taken Bess for a long walk run around the meadow, I’d done well, was pleased with my running and then worked around the house.

Zoe came up in evening and we sat outside eating nibbles and drinking. It wasn’t particularly hot so I went in and watched some TV but I was drinking double and treble gin and tonics!

Bedtime came but I wanted to stay up watching more Tv. Which then turned into a YouTube night! I eventually gave up and went to bed at 4.00am pissed up!

Good fun and hopefully not too groggy the next day!

Sad news today – Helen Candlin

Mark O’Hara phoned be today and told me that Helen Candlin had died last week having lost her battle with cancer. He knew we’d been together as 16 year olds and he’d always got on with the family and thought I’d want to know.

He’s right, I was glad that he’d told me. Such a shame, she was a nice girl and she was my first proper girlfriend back in the day, we were together for about 18 months I think, and she used to have a scooter/moped to get around and I would cycle to her house in Garden City, Kidlington. I’d not seen or spoken to her since about 20 years old but it’s still a sad thing to hear and consider. What I feel about her death doesn’t matter, it’s not about me, it’s about her family – her older brother had cancer when we were together so it’s a shame for that family that it seems to be with them.

I know the details of the funeral, I really don’t know if I will go, whether it’s appropriate or not – I will decide on the day, at the time of writing this I would like to, to show some support to the family even though they won’t know who I am.

This is going to be the sort of post that will happen more and more I sadly suspect – in our 50’s now, people are going to die, however young or old we feel inside.

I have some old photos of Helen and our time together, I won’t be sharing them with the memorial page or anything.

Such a shame, I hope she had a good life.

This is her tribute page online - https://helen-candlin.muchloved.com/

Colin Taylor’s Funeral

Didn’t get too much done for work throughout today, not sure why, just seemed distracted and not interested, not ideal with my holiday coming up and so much to get done. The day didn’t start too well because I needed to drop Tash to work because she woke up late and as soon as I got home I needed to take Lewis out to drop his car in the garage so I was out at 7.45am until 9.05am…

Anyway, in the afternoon it was Colin Taylor’s funeral at the Crematorium, we got there at about 2.40pm and had to drive through all the people there – about 400 I reckon in total. Walked round and obviously too many people for us to go inside so we listened from outside and it was very moving and sad. Loads of people there as I mentioned and so many faces I knew and chatted to briefly. Sad that it’s events like this that you see people, but we say that each time and it is only things like this where we will catch up.

Went back to Oxford City for some drinks and food and chatted to more people like Paul Lee, Mick Woodley, Justin Merritt, Mark Jones, Rob Tutton and so on. A number of conversations regarding the set up at Oxford City and how things need to change there in terms of new blood coming into the club etc, it could be the catalyst for change, we shall see.

I then dropped Tash into town as she was meeting work friends at Thai Khun for a meal.

I went home, took the dog out to the meadow and ran. I didn’t do very well as I kept stopping for Pokemon and my back was a nightmare as I appear to have trapped a nerve, in fact by the time I got home I was in agony – didn’t get much sleep at all – desperate problem.

I have to get out and run because I have signed up for the Oxford Half Marathon so we’ll see how that goes!!

Bess was absolutely shattered as a result because she was running to keep up with me..

Tash phoned for picking up at 10.40pm and she was quite drunk…not surprised but it was nice, she was happy.

So a sad day and people were continuing to question why Colin did what he did, we will never know or understand why – it’s something I hope I never get to a stage in my life that I want to take such drastic action.

Back to Bristol, Amanda’s Funeral

So it was back to Bristol this morning to work at Edustaff and do another installation/upgrade on the PCs there. Got caught out a bit as I thought I’d only be working on 2-3 computers so got there for 9.15pm but in fact there was twice that…ah! In saying that, I should have got there about 8.30am but the traffic was a nightmare, seemed odd being back there only 2 days after having a break there.

I didn’t need to do it but I couldn’t resist, I used our new Satnav on the way there, I knew the way but it’s a new toy so what do you expect?? Did its job well and the warnings on the speed cameras was excellent – I like it already

I got on with what I needed to do and kept my head down the whole time and it went fairly smoothly so no complaints, I finished at 4.00pm and was able to leave and make my way back but the traffic out wasn’t ideal and that bloody A420 between Swindon and Oxford is a pain in the backside! Got home around 6.05pm – I’d told Chris I’d be late for football so it was okay, although I was very tempted to take the night off. Glad we went as there were only 7 lads training (including Jack) and Phil was doing the session. I think it was going a little stale so I stepped in and made a couple of games for them which they liked and it was an okay session in the end

As we were walking to the car I bumped into Giorgia’s Dad, Julian, and we had a chat about her, her football and what I’m up to. It was nice to catch up with him and it made me want to take Wayne up on his request for me to take a training session, I think they’d enjoy it.

Got home, quick dinner and then took Jack to karate and sat in the car doing this diary again so as not to be distracted by Tim. Also sorted out some work emails and all that. Fell asleep and was fast asleep when Jack turned up – watched some TV in the evening.

I’ve been watching the World War Two in Colour and it’s almost finished, fascinating documentary series, been really interesting. How people lived through that time I really do not know, it’s terrifying.

Tash was subdued this evening, she had her work colleague, Amanda’s funeral at the college today so that was obviously a very emotional time for her, such a shame. Didn’t really talk about it, not too much you can say. She was very upset about it.