Cruise Day 8 – Barbados and Homeward Bound

That was a tough night’s sleep to be honest — very windy, wavy and noisy. I did manage some sleep in the end and we were up and about around 7.30am. Finished getting sorted, left our travel bags at the Squid & Anchor and met Nik and Gaz for breakfast. I didn’t eat much; I’ve honestly had enough of food now.

We did a few final bits to get ourselves ready for departure later in the day and then headed outside to grab a taxi. First stop was Rihanna’s childhood home, then Kensington Oval cricket ground, which was good to see, and then on to Carlisle Bay where we were dropped at Savvy on the Beach.

We walked along and signed up for a boat trip to swim with turtles and snorkel — bit of a con really. It didn’t last anywhere near as long as promised and we didn’t see much at all. Definitely no turtles. A few fish, the shipwreck, and that was about it. Some scuba divers emerged from the wreck which was interesting at least.

Back on shore we went to Savvy for some food and a couple of beers. What was really strange was how familiar it all felt — and for good reason. We were in the exact same spot as last year! We could even see the Ramada hotel we stayed at. That was a weird but nice little moment.

Taxi picked us up on time and took us back to the ship. We managed to shower and freshen up and then went to the pool bar to relax and snooze while killing time until 5.30pm. Had a snack and watched all the new arrivals coming onboard — excited and very white. I’ll admit, I felt a bit resentful. We were the ones leaving and I just wanted to be out of there. Their enthusiasm was too much to handle at that point!

Also, seven days was enough for me. I was tired. Eating and especially drinking all the time can be hard work — that sounds like a joke, but it genuinely isn’t. I think doing two weeks, even with a different itinerary, would start to feel a bit much. Seven days was perfect.

We collected our bags, got on the coach and headed to the airport with no issues. The lounge was outrageously expensive, so we didn’t bother with anything. Boarded the plane, settled in for the eight-hour flight. Tash took sleeping pills and lucked out with spare seats so she could lie across them. I made myself as comfortable as I could across mine and hers, watched The Long Walk, and then slept.

Arrived at Heathrow around 10.00am. Bags came through — slight panic as Gaz’s didn’t appear until the very last one. Got the taxi back to Bicester and I slept the whole way. £155. Mad money.

Said our goodbyes and thanks, jumped in Tash’s car and headed home — back to normality, sadly.

It was a great trip and I really enjoyed it. It compared well with the Iona and Norway cruise, which was a relief. That’s it for cruises for a good while now… although we’ll see what we end up getting talked into next!

End-of-day reflection:
Tired, ready to be home, but very content. Seven days was the perfect length, Barbados was a fitting send-off, and the whole trip stacked up really well against past cruises. A great experience — but definitely time for land again.

Cruise Day 7 – Guadeloupe

Heavy heads this morning — more for Tash than me to be honest. Could easily have stayed in bed, and in fact we did stay in a bit longer than agreed. Nik was ringing us from the restaurant asking where we were!

Eventually down for breakfast, which was good as usual, then off to reception for the bridge tour we’d signed up for. About 20 of us were taken up to meet Freddie the Captain and some of his crew and given a rundown of how the ship operates and how everything works behind the scenes. It was really interesting and I’m glad we did it. Lasted about an hour.

After that we disembarked and went through the usual gauntlet of tour guides and taxis before wandering into town. It’s quite built up and very obviously a French colony — that was clear wherever you looked.

There was a market on in the main square but we were all pretty knackered by this point, so decided to split up. We did a bit more walking but not much if I’m honest. Tash was really feeling it (“not a hangover!”), so we headed back to port, grabbed a bit of internet access and boarded again.

Dropped things in the room and I stayed put for a good hour enjoying the luxury of air con. Eventually found Tash and we had something to eat, then spent the afternoon doing very little — lounging around, sleeping, reading, me catching up on diary entries. Exactly what was needed.

The afternoon was nice and relaxed but the weather was overcast. It kept threatening sunshine but stayed cloudy most of the time. Sometimes that was a relief, though a full sunny day would’ve been nice. Nik and Gaz came down and sat with us for a while, then headed off earlier as they’d booked the steak restaurant for dinner.

We watched the ship leave port — always interesting — then Tash and I had one last cream tea and went back to the cabin to get sorted and pack.

We headed down to Piccadilly’s for dinner but got turned away as I was wearing a collarless t-shirt. I knew the rule, just forgot — and to be fair, I did look smart!

Dinner was nice in the end and neither of us drank. We’ve honestly had enough alcohol for now and could quite happily have gone straight to bed. Still, we enjoyed the food and then headed down to the Live Lounge where Nik and Gaz had secured a great spot. We stayed put for the rest of the evening and had waiter service the whole time.

It was noticeably busier than usual — lots of people we hadn’t seen all week were out, being as it was their last night too. It gave the place a really good atmosphere.

We did drink a bit but it was hard work — stuck to Captain Morgan’s and Coke. Rhythm & Breeze were good, as were The Collective, and then at 11.00pm all the musicians came together for the end-of-show finale. That was brilliantly done — loads of songs, lots of dancing and singing, and it went on for nearly an hour.

And then… that was it. All done.

Nik and Gaz wanted to stay out longer but we were finished, said our goodnights and headed back to the cabin to sort final bits and get into bed — not that it led to a good night’s sleep.

It was VERY windy and wavy. The ship was really rocking, with lots of creaking and noise throughout the night.

One final thing — I checked the invoice and noticed we’d been charged £43 for the bridge tour. Not happy about that at all. Tash raised it straight away but we’ll need to get that refunded in the morning.

End-of-day reflection:
A tired, slightly fuzzy day but an enjoyable one nonetheless. The bridge tour was a real highlight, the afternoon downtime was badly needed, and the final night atmosphere was spot on. Ready to leave now though — physically tired, a bit over-done, and craving solid ground again.

Cruise Day 6 – St Maarten

Awoke at 5.30am and had a look outside the window to see that we’d arrived in port, with a tug alongside getting itself sorted. That was interesting in itself, but in the background you could see the lights of Icon of the Seas. Even from over a mile away you could tell it was huge.

When we woke up properly a bit later, it was moored right next to us and, sure enough, we were completely dwarfed by it. Absolutely massive.

It was Gareth’s birthday today, and at breakfast we gave him his present — a book about Suede — which he seemed genuinely pleased with.

We then left the boat and headed out towards Bobby’s Marina. Chaos on the quay: six ships all close together, people milling around everywhere or queueing for tours and excursions. So many people — more than we’d encountered at any point so far. Anyway, we made our way through it and headed for the marina, along with quite a few others who had clearly organised their own trips like us.

We got a bit worried when we couldn’t immediately find anyone, but then the catamaran came into view and the owners of Random Winds, Jacky and Amy, came ashore, rounded us all up, got us to sign our lives away, and then we boarded. We met Captain Scott, had the safety briefing, drinks were handed out, and then we were off.

After about an hour we stopped just offshore near a beach. I was straight over the side from the highest point, which felt great. Tash followed, but Nikki and Gaz didn’t — in fact Gaz didn’t get in the water at all at this stop. Tash, Nik and others grabbed noodles to help them float and happily drifted around with rum punch cocktails. Good for them.

I tried snorkelling but the sand had been churned up so visibility was rubbish. Gave up on that and decided to wait for the next stop.

There wasn’t much the crew could do about the weather, so we stayed put, kept jumping in, and then had lunch which Scott cooked on the barbie — he’s Australian, of course!!

There was a nice mix of people on board, mostly American, but we didn’t hold that against them!! Chatted to a few and, as the drinks flowed, it all became more friendly and relaxed.

After a while we headed back out. Tash and Nik sat right at the front with their legs dangling over the edge. It was quite rough heading into the wind, but fun all the same.

And the drinks flowed…

The second stop was meant to offer better snorkelling. It still wasn’t great, but I swam over and saw some fish and the sunken helicopter, which was interesting enough. More interesting, though, was the Tarzan swing they’d set up. We were given a demo and I was straight up for the first go — a very different experience to just jumping in. Loads of people had a go and I must have done it about five times in the end.

Sadly, it was soon time to return to port. I was feeling a bit pissed by now, and Tash had somehow broken a woman’s expensive-looking glasses. Who the culprit was went unnoticed, but the woman was NOT happy!!

Jacky and the team thanked everyone at the end and then announced a winner of “Best Tarzan Swinger”… and said my name. I mock-bowed, but then she added that I’d won a T-shirt, which was a lovely bonus and a genuine surprise.

We headed back towards the ship, but not before Tash had her photo taken with a local policeman who was clearly amused by us (or her). We then detoured to Grumpy’s Bar to get on the internet, had a couple of drinks, and caught up with friends and family. All was well.

Back on the ship, grabbed some food and collapsed for an hour’s sleep before meeting the others downstairs at the Italian restaurant. Got a drink while waiting for the buzzer, but it wasn’t long.

Nice food as always. Some bloke nearby was complaining about something — possibly the atmosphere — all a bit odd. In response, us and a table of women created plenty of noise and took the piss. The waiters enjoyed it and started making shapes out of napkins. Puerile and childish, but still funny.

After dinner we headed back to the Live Lounge and stayed there for the rest of the night, enjoying the entertainment or watching things unfold in the casino. Gaz played roulette but didn’t end up a winner from what I could see.

Nik wasn’t feeling great, so they headed off to bed around 11.00pm. We stayed until midnight. A bloke was dancing on his own to Baggy Trousers, so I went over and joined him in solidarity. His family and friends found it highly amusing.

We eventually called it a night as Tash was struggling a bit and got emotional about her mum. Back in the room she stood out on the balcony — probably not the best idea — but it was fine. We watched the stars for a bit and then went to bed.

Another long and tiring day, but I think we made it a birthday — and a day — to remember.

Chuffed with my T-shirt.

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End of Day Summary

A full-on, boozy, sun-soaked day that mixed proper fun with a few emotional moments. From towering cruise ships and a brilliant catamaran trip to Tarzan swings, birthday celebrations, and late-night dancing, it felt chaotic, ridiculous, and memorable in exactly the right way — the kind of day you’ll still be laughing about years from now.

Cruise Day 5 - St Kitts.

 This is just a copy and paste of my notes from my phone - can't remember specifics sadly

A little bit of a heavy head this morning, but soon got rid of it as we went through our morning routine and then down for breakfast. We didn’t have anything planned so it was a later morning and a slower pace today.

Went outside and was greeted with the usual hawkers and taxi/excursion people which we ignored as we walked through the customer village/shopping mall. I’d be interested as to how many people only get this far and don’t venture further into the town and just simply shop, sit in a bar and return to their ship.

Not us!

Walking through the Shopping mall on the ship later in the evening I was looking at something in one of the shops and one of the members of staff was chatting, saw me and exclaimed, "This man was in Bar 11 last night and he loves Aviici!!"

Made me smile and feel good!

Cruise Day 4 - Antigua

Just a copy and paste from my phone - lacking details unfortunately

Up and at em

Nice breakfast

Found a taxi all day

Viewpoint overlooking the Atlantic

Visit to Nelson’s port and walk around

Yachts - amazing

Dickinson bay.

Went passed Nik and Gaz honeymoon hotel - now overgrown and disused - bit sad really

On the beach at a bar - drinks and relax

Back to boat

Cruise Day 3 - British Virgin Islands - Gorda Island

Quick breakfast this morning before a rapid march off the ship towards the ticket kiosk. We’d left it a little tighter than ideal and only just made it in time — literally seconds to spare before boarding the boat over to Virgin Gorda.

The crossing itself was straightforward enough and once ashore we grabbed a taxi from the waterfront to the entrance of the nature reserve. From there we set off walking through the reserve itself and it was absolutely beautiful. Lovely coastal views looking out to sea and a really interesting landscape all around us.

We eventually reached Devil’s Bay and settled there for a while. The water was gorgeous and it was a lovely place to relax and swim for a bit. Definitely one of those postcard-type beaches that feels even better in real life.

Getting from there to the next beach was an experience in itself because the route took us through huge boulders, narrow gaps and cave-like passages. It genuinely felt like some sort of assault course at times, climbing and squeezing our way through everything, but it was brilliant fun and unlike anywhere else we’d been before.

By the time we emerged the idea of a cold beer was extremely appealing, so we stopped at a nearby bar and they went down very well indeed.

We then moved on to another bar nearer the exit where we had some decent food, more beers and, importantly, access to the internet. Managed to FaceTime the kids which was lovely and nice to properly catch up with everyone back home for a bit.

After that we made our way back to the ship, although not before stopping at a cigar shop because we’d had the bright idea of getting Gaz a cigar for his birthday treat later on in the evening.

Once back onboard we both crashed out for a snooze before getting ourselves sorted for the evening ahead.

Dinner and drinks followed as usual and later on we unveiled the cigars. Unfortunately, Nikki was absolutely furious about it — we’d clearly misjudged the situation quite badly and she was not impressed at all. To make matters worse, the wind outside was so strong that none of us could really smoke them properly anyway, so the whole thing turned into a bit of a failed idea all round.

We caught back up with Nik later on in the theatre, although things were still slightly frosty after the cigar incident. Thankfully the atmosphere improved as the evening went on and we eventually ended up listening to music in one of the bars whilst continuing to drink before finally calling it a night and heading to bed.

Overall though, it had been a really good day.

End of Day Summary:
Virgin Gorda was a genuine highlight of the trip — beautiful scenery, great swimming spots and the adventure through the caves and boulders made it really memorable. The birthday cigar idea perhaps didn’t land quite as intended, but aside from that it was another fun and eventful day with plenty of laughs, sunshine and good memories.

Cruise Day 2 - At Sea

 As the title suggests - we spent the day travelling North on the sea

It was enjoyable and we relaxed, ate, drank and made the most of the free time.

Didn't go mad because it's an early start tomorrow and we don't want to ruin things

It was the "Captain's Dinner" evening and we all dressed up smart and had a really nice meal and it was good fun

Cruise – Day 1 Travel Day

Alarm went off at 5.00am. Shower, shave, load the car and off we went to Nik and Gaz’s place in Bicester. They were ready and waiting and not long after we arrived, the taxi did too.

Very nice Merc — travelling in style! We chatted a bit, slept a bit, and before we knew it we were at Heathrow T3. No issues at all with check-in or bag drop, although it was immediately obvious that Tash and I are very light packers. Our bags were about 16kg and 16kg compared with 24kg and a whopping 26kg… what on earth must be in those?! Thankfully no issues or extra charges.

Breakfast and a pint, obviously, and then it was already time to board. No real delay, great seats, all good. Sitting for 8.5 hours is a bit dull and uncomfortable, but Virgin really do have it sussed. I’m typing this with about 45 minutes left and we’ve had drinks, dinner and even afternoon tea — which was excellent.

Enjoying my music as usual — I wanted to dance. It’s been nice to properly switch off and not think about much, although inevitably my mind drifted to Charlotte’s wedding and my speech. Also the realisation that I really need to get fitter so I’m presentable in the photos! God knows when it’ll be — I reckon maybe 2027 — we’ll see.

We watched season 4 of The Traitors, which has been great fun. I’d downloaded last night’s episode and we watched that before dipping into anything else onboard. No idea how it’s going to go, but it’s halfway through now and I’m loving it.

After a very good flight we landed in Barbados, got through customs easily and found the TUI rep and our coach. We were slightly unsure about the bag process but confirmed we did collect them ourselves as normal.

On the coach with all the other Marella Discovery 2 passengers, I had a brief wobble. Sitting there, it suddenly hit me that we were officially package holiday makers. Completely ridiculous, but I felt weirdly claustrophobic — like our independence had been stripped away! Absolute nonsense of course, but still. Something to get used to for the week.

Half-hour drive through Barbados and we arrived at the port. Boarding passes sorted, walked along the dock and onto the ship.

We decided to explore — Nik and Gaz hadn’t cruised before — and ended up on the top deck where there’s a pool and a couple of bars. It was clearly the liveliest spot (and proved to be all week). Drinks ordered, seats found, and we just sat taking it all in.

Had a few wanders around to get our bearings. Decent-sized ship with plenty of variety and things going on.

Eventually headed to the cabins to freshen up. Everyone’s bags had arrived… except mine. Slightly concerning if I’m honest. Had to check with reception and chase it, but thankfully it turned up right at the end of the evening. Huge relief.

Phew.

Dinner was in the restaurant called 47 — very nice.

After that we went back up to the main pool deck, more drinks and some entertainment. Exactly what you’d expect on a British TUI cruise ship — if you know what I mean from a slightly snobby point of view. That said, I’m writing this in hindsight on the last day, and it’s actually been incredibly good fun. Any snobbery from Tash and I has been firmly kept in check — and we’ve been just as bad as everyone else!

We didn’t have a particularly late night as we were all pretty shattered from a long travel day.

End-of-day reflection:
A smooth, stress-free start to the trip. Travel went well, the ship exceeded early expectations, and despite initial “package holiday” reservations, the mood quickly shifted to excitement and relaxation. Tired, slightly overwhelmed, but very ready for what the week would bring.

Cruise Diary - Day 7

Heavy heads all round. Up around 10.00am

Breakfast and then out on the sun deck. Bright hot sun for an hour or so and then cloudy and windy

Just relaxing all day. Lovely

Played cards.

Slept and ate

Meal in evening. Opal restaurant

Watched show in sky dome. Triboo

Cruise Diary - Day 6

Haugesund

Walk around to sculpture park

Shopping

Terrible cramp and slept for a few hours

Evening drinks

Gareth Gates meal in the limelight club

Very enjoyable

Monroe in sky dome

Dancing and singing

They loved it

Beach club bar. Shit awful comedian

Disco

Loads of dancing to requests

Drunk

2.00am finish

Everyone gets on so well together

Cruise Diary - Day 5

Didn’t have an early start today, thanks goodness.

Felt a bit rough, but not enough to ruin any time.

Breakfast about 9.30am and then waited in the library for everyone and then left the ship

We were at Hellesylt today and it’s a tiny UNESCO heritage site. Only 300 residents

We had a walk around and then found the netting place for the speedboat trip that we’d booked.

Got suited up and climbed aboard and then went out into the fjord, the driver was great and we went at a great speed. He’d stop every now and then explaining the terrain and whales etc. really interesting and very engaging bloke.

The scenery was breath-taking and there were waterfalls cascading down everywhere you looked. Just mesmerizing.

Absolutely worth every penny, it was such great fun for 50mins. Everyone really enjoyed it.

Back to harbor and Charlotte’s hangover kicked in so they went to bed and we did more exploring. Lovely water fall and not much else.

Back to the boat for food and rest. Slept for a while on deck and it gradually got colder and colder. We didn’t see sun today, just cloud cover the whole time.

As we left port and headed back to the North Sea you could feel the cold wind coming down through the glacier valley. Didn’t stay out much longer!!

Just pottered around killing time and then met up with kids to have dinner. Just stuck to buffet today. Didn’t feel too good and went and showered and changed. Having the buffet food showed the marked difference from the restaurants that we’ve been eating at. It was okay but not a patch on the others.

They all went to the spa session they had booked at 8.00pm and I wasn’t interested so had a couple of hours free time to myself. Just walked around the ship, bit of golf practice, cheese and biscuits and nice coffee in Brodies. Perfectly happy.

Silent disco. Wow

Food

Bed

Cruise Diary - Day 3

Arrived in Stavangar

Taxi to pulpit rock

Jack, Jodie, me and Tash

£100

Hike. Hard

4km

Cliffs. Mental

Busy

Didn’t like it much. Don't like the edge any more

Taxi back.

Wandered around town. Very nice.

Everyone else had done it because they’d stayed whilst we did the hike.

Caught up on the ship for food and then got clothes to sit in deck and look out over the twin

Slept a bit and then back to cabin and slept 20 more mins.

Got ready. Everyone a bit quiet and flagging. It was a late night last night.

Food in Italian restaurant

Take that show

Shit comedian

Coffee and cakes

Early night

Cruise Diary - Day 4.

Arrived at Olden

Waited public bus. Bit stressful

Briksdale glacier

Bus back

Camping sites

Amazing views

Not much to see other than outlet and souvenir shops so had a wander around those

Back to ship for some food

Adult area on the deck for a snooze

Cocktails and beers

Hot tub and people

On the shore waving us off for ages in the rain. Not quite the whole town that Tash suggested it would be, but it was a lovely gesture.

Got ready

Drinks in Crows Nest. Nice bar.

Lovely meal too

Off to the Limelight club with a decent live band and singer.

Second half we got up and danced.

Made it lively!!

When that finished at midnight went to usual bar that was empty with a disco.

So we made requests and got the dance floor busy, mostly!!

We were very drunk.

Finished about 2.00am.

Knackered.

Cruise Diary - Day 2

Decent sleep

Clocks went forward

Up and to breakfast.

Incredibly busy. Ate outside. Queues everywhere. Hard work

Outside and relaxed

Oil platforms we went past in the North Sea - didn't expect to see those - impressed

Relaxing all the time

Brodies for beer and watch England women’s World Cup match

Celebration night

Drunk

Cruise Diary - Day 1

 Drove down

Huge ship (Iona)

Nice cabins

So much food and elegance

This is going to be a good week!!