Derek Update, but not much to report

No improvement today with Derek, in fact he might have gone backwards to some small degree. I worked at Raintree so couldn’t help out with lifts or anything in the morning but Tash worked early so she could get up to the hospital for about midday and support Mum and bring her home afterwards when they’re kicked out at 1.00pm. Tash said that he just slept throughout and there was little response to any discussions etc and it was an emotional morning with plenty of crying.

So I got some stuff sorted when I got home from work and then went to the JR about 7.15pm in the end and again it was the same thing, I think he opened his eyes a couple of times and reacted to both Mum and my voices but it was little else that happened. He does move and flinch from the discomfort of the tubes down his throat so we see that as a positive thing because it shows there is feeling and activity, if he was doing literally nothing then that would be much more concerning.

Mum did most of the talking as usual, it’s a nervous talking and is constant, but it’s good for her that one of us is always there for her. Charlotte is going to go tomorrow, I think she’ll find that really tough and emotional and understandably so. We haven’t put any pressure on the kids to go and it’s their own decision, it’s shocking but you do sort of get used to it but it’s still so sad. Not sure if Jack will go, I think he wants to and it would be nice if he did but again, we’ll see how things progress.

So tomorrow they are likely to take the tube helping him to breathe out so that he does breathe on his own, apparently you can become so used to things helping you that your mind switches off and “forgets” how to breathe…not good! The tube is not breathing for him, it’s just increasing the oxygen when he takes a breath, but he does need to do it himself asap apparently.

We will see how that goes later, I am in Kent tomorrow so won’t be home until late and not able to go up there until the evening.

Still don’t know how Mum is managing to cope with it, she must be under such strain and be exhausted.

Derek seriously ill

Whilst we were away on holiday last week Derek suffered a subarachnoid haemorrhage – basically a bleed on the brain. Mum got him to the hospital and he was operated on and placed into the Intensive Care Unit. It’s not possible to stress how important life-threatening this is. At the time of writing this it’s now 6 days and we’ve visited him with Mum for the last two days (having not come home until midnight on Sunday) and we’ve only seen him open his eyes in that time.

During the holiday we kept in touch with Mum and it seemed he was progressing and she was positive but something went wrong and he had to go back to ICU which is where he’s remained and where we’ve seen him. Tubes coming out of him in all places and helping him to breathe, it’s heart-breaking to witness.

Mum is bearing up okay but she must be exhausted, it’s tiring for us and we’ve only been there a couple of sessions – we’re allowed there in the morning and afternoon/evenings. It’s hard to know what to do or say and slowly we’ve got more information from the nurses or doctors there. They’re very good and he’s on a constant watch, it makes you realise how serious this all is and reading the literature, it’s not positive reading whatsoever!

We can only keep supporting Mum and hoping for the best. Tash went up there with Mum this evening and they came out much more positive as his eyes were open and they were trying to communicate with him, how much he sees or hears we don’t know but you hope it’s helping in some small way.

It’s draining physically and of course emotionally, it’s so sad to see him like this and also see the desperation in Mum willing him to be well and to pull through this, she’d be so lost without him and it’s a terrible thing to face up to and think about, but it’s a real possibility that he won’t survive this, but also, if he were to survive, what sort of state he will be in terms of mental and physical health. We can’t and mustn’t speculate, we just want him to get through this first hurdle and then go on from there.

Tash spoke to the nurse today asking about their experience in this sort of situation and they advised that it’s the first 10 days that’s the main milestone for someone to survive, tomorrow is day 7!

The kids are not sure about visiting, I think Charlotte might go but Lewis is up in Manchester and I think Jack won’t feel comfortable – he might wait and see what Charlotte says if she does go on Thursday.

It’s hard to think of anything else at this time, it’s a horrible, horrible situation and as I mentioned above – absolutely heart-wrenching.

Fingers crossed is all we can say

Jack playing in front of 841 people

Played for Thame Utd in the second half against Oxford Utd – right mid – did well